Extended book review: “How to Change” by Dr. Katy Milkman

Sometimes, you don’t really come seeking knowledge from a book. Some books are valuable for telling you what you already know, but in a new, more powerful way. And some are to be cherished for the way they bring common knowledge together, and for the light they present it in. Is “How to Change” one of these books?

1. Confessions of a lifehack addict

One of the most inspiring moments of my internet life has been finding Lifehacker, back in its golden age. Since then, I’ve been on a bit of a journey – you will know it from the kinds of books I’m reviewing here, and the kinds of topics I like to discuss.

I feel like I should start by admitting this for two reasons. First of all, much of what Dr. Katy Milkman writes about in “How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be” was known to me. And secondly – I’ve grown fond of books like Dr. Milkman’s. So this will be a review written from a perspective of a keen enthusiast. If you’re new to the field, or sceptical of it, some of what follows may not resonate. It is my hope that you will still give the book a try – it’s worth it.

2. Let’s talk about the bad stuff

One look at this book’s table of contents is enough to get a first impression of this narrative. “How to Change” is structured around seven most commonly encountered obstacles to positive change. From conformity to confidence, from impulsivity to laziness – each keyword on this list reads like an excuse for why nothing got done today, why your new year’s resolution got neglected, and so on.

I enjoyed the structure of this book. There are three arguments in its favor. First of all, as I was going through “How to Change” in its audio format, I could treat each chapter as a separate episode – good and snappy enough for a longish podcast to accompany me on my runs, walks, and chores.

The second reason is that this makes the book a lot more relatable. Dr. Milkman could have written another big psychology book, and it would come easy to her, judging by the amount of work and research she’s already done. Instead, structuring the book around our shared seven weaknesses makes it human. This isn’t just about psychology; it’s now about something you and I did, and are about to do. We get started and lose steam. We make snap decisions or wallow about. We conform. We forget.

It’s the third reason, though, which makes this book really worth your time. Hang on, let me grab a separate section for it 🙂

3. Making the bad stuff…the good stuff?

If you wanted to give yourself the best possible chance of succeeding at something, you would probably look around for resources which are reliably found – plan for contexts which are most likely to surround you – and think about commonalities which most humans share.

Like the weaknesses we just mentioned.

This is what makes the book worth the money, and this is why all the research done by Dr. Milkman, Angela Duckworth, and their colleagues fascinates me so much. Your weaknesses can become the bedrock for change. You can plan with them, not against them. You can rely on encountering these traits of your psyche (and others’ personalities, too!) instead of hoping you won’t see them cross your path. Crucially, you can incorporate them into your strategy for change: laziness can become a factor in the work you do get done. Conformity can be harnessed to validate your social choices.

“How to Change” doesn’t read like a caffeinated self-help maven yelling at you to redefine your life all at once. It shows you what, according to research, people are like, and shows you how to work with this setup, if you’re like that.

So the bad stuff can become the good stuff – or, at least, the well-known and reliable stuff. That’s a map and a plan I can work with.

4. Make behavior change chronic again

The final chapter of the book no longer deals with a human weakness. In “Changing for Good”, Dr. Milkman looks at a question which should perhaps be asked at every strategy meeting, every coaching session, and every resolution-setting chat: how are you going to make it stick?

This, as it turns out, is not just something individuals should ask. The chapter is remarkably honest about the ways in which behavior change is regarded in research institutions, policy thinktanks, schools, workplaces, health centres etc. In the wonderful age of instant gratification and permanent connectivity, we expect there to be an app and an easy fix for any change we seek to effect; all we want is to nudge a perfect world into being, and stand back to watch it prosper.

“How to Change” doesn’t sell you this vision in its final chapter. Instead, the word “chronic” is used, in a way which really struck a chord with me. I suppose we all knew that it takes a lifetime of work to really tend to a lifelong habit; it takes maintenance to ensure that what we built, lasts. This book – written partly in the pandemic, and published mid-2021 – brings this message home in a kind, but unequivocal manner.

5. Conclusion

Dr. Katy Milkman’s book is worth discovering, and re-reading, the way you re-read important fairy tales. It may or may not bring you any new knowledge – although my previous post here about commitment devices was a result of some refreshing perspectives on psychology which I discovered in the book. But it will bring comfort and some down-to-earth, actionable next steps.

The book’s chapters end in “chapter takeaways”, a great way to summarise the gist of the preceding narrative. This is especially useful for audiobook listeners like me.

For those who wish to change and for those whose work is about helping others change, “How to Change” delivers on the promise in its title. Go read it.

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(Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash)